The last couple of weeks have been surreal for me. I’ve been in a funk creatively, wrestling with the demands of “normal” life and trying to balance them with my hard-core creative ambitions, which include, among many projects, finally wrapping up with my long-overdue FETIDUS episodes. It’s been so strange that quite often when I get going on a major creative personal project, working on a big writing project or piece of music, some event happens that alters/delays/postpones/derails/(choose your favorite term) the effort, and I often have to pick up the pieces or dangling threads of my creative dreams, take a deep (deep, deep) breath, and buckle down for another go at it.

Feels like I’ve been “buckling down for another go at it” for the last 15 years.

The only thing that keeps me from literally banging my head against the wall in utter frustration (well, actually, I’ve done that), and succumb to the sublime temptation of resignation, is… well… actually, I don’t really know. I have some theories, but as I’ve written and edited this post, I realize that my theories about this very profound issue sound like half-assed psycho-babble with a dollop of whipped cream on top. So I’ll spare you the painful regurgitation of my pitiful self-analysis.

Instead, I’ll tell a story.

A few weeks ago, I was gearing up yet again for a major creative push into the deepest realms of my imagination, after months of sincere, but sputtering, attempts due to various other interruptions… and then… I got the call. Yes, that kind of call. The kind of call you drop everything for and haul your creative ass back into reality, grab the keys and head out the door.

My poor wife had been injured during a performance, and I needed to come and pick her up prontisimo. Thoughts ran unchecked through my mind… no, don’t let it be one of her legs… she’s a dancer. It’s too important to her, it’s her life. No!

But the call didn’t seem that serious at the time, even though it was, indeed, her leg. On my way to pick her up, I received another phone call, more urgent this time, that her colleagues thought it *might* be much more serious — like a torn Achilles. My heart raced, I couldn’t fathom something so terrible would happen to her… on top of all the other medical issues we’ve experienced together in recent years. A torn Achilles could be career-ending for a dancer, and to be quite frank, I was filled with dread.

Instead of meeting her at the theater as originally planned, they told me to head to the nearest hospital. At that moment, life again took on that surreal quality of a sepia-colored drama, starring the handsome hunk-du-jour (me, but not really, I’m far from it), and the beautiful pop-star-turned-actress-playing-a-beautiful-grad-student-dancer (my wife), and our amazing son, played by himself.

As we went through the very familiar motions of the hospital ER in-take, the nurses’ and doctors’ faces all in a cinematic blur, we confirmed that the Achilles was fortunately NOT torn (whew!), but rather her calf muscle (I don’t remember the name of the specific muscle). We sighed one of those long sighs of relief, knowing that she’d be able to recover and dance again — albeit after at least a few months of healing and physical therapy. It was a “close one” this time, nothing more.

On the drive home, with my wife’s leg all neatly bandaged up with a splint, brand new crutches rattling in the back, I had a “moment.” A Groundhog Day moment.

Those who have seen the hilarious 1993 comedy Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell, will know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’d been there before. That exact time, space and even road. It was even raining the same type of rain. Everything seemed like I had been there before, only shuffled around in a twisted tapestry of my memory. Which “drive home” was it this time? The dreadful car accident? The surgery? The torn calf muscle?

That drive home felt like I was Bill Murray in Groundhog Day finally figuring out what was going on.

I found myself muttering under my breath, “This is so strange.” It wasn’t a bitter or ungrateful moment. In fact, I was deeply relieved that my wife’s dreams of dancing weren’t destroyed, because I know how much that means to her — and us. That moment was simply a realization that I was at that “loop point” of my life. Again. The same spot, only Tivo’d to March, 2010.

When we got home, the power was out.

Ahhh. Now I get it, Universe. Spring, rain, trees, power lines, zap. Deep meaning there, right? I almost called a hotel, but resisted the temptation to cave in that easily. Two hours later we had our power back.

So the next week had its ups and downs. We spent a lot of time with each other, and in the non-managing-her-leg-situation time, she helped me organize my efforts for some of my creative projects (she’s a natural organizer, a trait I admire in her). At first we thought her recovery would go quickly. She was hobbling around on crutches, but then the pain got to be too much. Just as I wrapped up my latest devious plans for world domination (version 42.5), her leg pain became intolerable, and she needed to see a doctor right away. Turns out it was indeed a more serious muscle tear than we thought. Another urgent doctor’s visit later, we confirmed the seriousness, but still not like the career-killer a torn Achilles could have been. So we were still grateful, but simultaneously amazed by how disabled she was for the short-term. She was stuck in bed, unable to walk or drive, and barely able to crawl (which she did, to the bathroom, no stopping Mother Nature).

We were both stranded, in a way, in a bizarre limbo land, an alternate reality that was still reality. It takes its subtle toll, emotionally and physically. Adjustments had to be made. “Normal” elements of life had to proceed, whatever that meant. Days blended into each other, just like they had so many times before.

I’ve adapted to these situations now, I’m a veteran. Part of me tunes out by necessity, another part takes a back seat and watches how each hour will progress, like an endless mini-series that’s “kinda good” but “kinda sucks.” Another part is actively engaged in trying to be a good human being, a good husband, a good Dad. Another part restlessly computes and then re-computes my creative plans when we get through all of this. Again.

Little snippets illustrate how this time has been:

One day, our little boy was recruited to help with piles and piles of the laundry that had gotten out of control. He was a good trooper that day, for sure. One batch, I thought he’d fall right into the washing machine. Hilarious, but not really.

Naturally, my wife’s laptop decided to die (a few months out of warranty, dammit!), and she needed her IT department (me) to rescue all her data. Now stranded in bed, she then needed a more powerful computer which I set up in our room so she could edit video for one of her classes. I wore many hats, none of which said, “Writer” or “Musician” that week. Not to mention the backlog of client work I would have to deal with when we got through this.

Now add that up, and it clearly has an immediate affect on an on-the-go little family with lots of things on their collective minds, and lots of projects on their to-do lists. “Normal” life ground to a halt. “Important” things were no longer important. Work stopped. Creative work? Fuhgeddaboudit. I’d been there before. At times I marveled. Wasn’t it just recently that we were in the hospital with a serious life-threatening complication from a medial procedure? Weeks blurred in my mind, and then weeks just catching up with “normal” work. And before that, a serious car accident with health issues we’re still dealing with? And before that… the list goes on.

I think we’re up to 8-9 hospitals now, in not nearly as many years. I should start a blog about hospital ER services! (BTW, I can heartily recommend the ER at Holy Cross Hospital in Silver Spring, Maryland. They treated us pretty damn well. Nice interior design upstairs in the Express Care area. Good muffins in the lobby. Housekeeping was a little shabby, but overall, a solid A-minus.)

On Monday, my little boy had a presentation to give in class about his favorite dinosaur, the truly awesome Spinosaurus. I had no idea how awesome. We had a diorama, poster and hand-outs to produce, you get the picture. The original plan was that my wife would do most of the project over the weekend so I could try to catch up on work, etc. This time, she couldn’t, due to the miserable leg situation and other things going on. So, I had the joy of building the diorama with him (which really was incredibly fun), but I was amazed when 6-7pm rolled around Sunday evening and we just started to rehearse his presentation. By the time we took care of dinner, prepped my boy for bed, etc., the next time I looked at the clock it was around 9pm and I was exhausted.

I don’t even remember Monday. I think it was Monday night when my little boy complained of sickness, and sure enough he was sick. Tuesday he missed school, was in bed with a fever along side my leg-challenged wife. Wednesday is a blur, and just now I returned from the doctor’s office with a prescription for an antibiotic because my son’s cold turned into a lovely infection.

So right now, my wife — the dancer — is finally back hobbling around on crutches (fortunately, getting a bit better), but now my little boy is in my bed sicker than sick. (He bumps me out of my side of bed when he’s sick, because he is at that age that he needs his Mommy for comfort. I try to sleep within earshot so I can help out in the middle of the night — my wife can’t exactly get up and retrieve things easily, remember the leg? — so I tried pumping up my air mattress the other night. No go. The pump gave out. And it’s a NEW air mattress! Damn quality control!)

All I can say is thank heaven for frozen pizza, good humidifiers, Netflix, Tivo and PS3.

So what’s next? At this moment, I have no idea. Except I will take a deep, deep breath, catch up with work, get back to my plans of conquering the universe, and hope that I don’t see the inside of a doctor’s office or ER for at least a decade. No, how about I just shoot for one year.

Through all this, I have tried to contemplate the oh-so-profound “deeper meaning” of it all. I compared this ongoing mini-drama — this now-predictable cycle of never-ending events — with Groundhog Day.

What the hell am I supposed to learn from this? What is the magical thing I do to break the Groundhog Day cycle? What nagging flaw in my personal, ever-flawed human essence do I need to overcome to wake up that fine morning and realize that I’ve conquered Groundhog Day and mastered the uber-lesson “The Universe” is trying to teach me?

Hogwash.

Apart from the fact that I continuously re-confirm that I am a LOUSY cook, and will probably ALWAYS be a lousy cook (I can burn a frozen pizza with the best of them), perhaps there’s not much more I need to learn from these experiences. Except ONE thing. Maybe this is the LAST thing I need to learn from this ever-looping cycle…

And this last lesson may indeed have a more profound cosmic, metaphysical or spiritual meaning. At least for me. Now before I say what I think this lesson is, I want to clear up one thing: I don’t want this all to seem like I’m complaining. This little recent series of events, while certainly not yet over, is really a tiny blip in our own lives, and it definitely doesn’t register on the Richter Scale of Life or in the grand scheme of things. Except perhaps on a personal level, where lessons learned are lives changed.

Yes, this “moment” I’m experiencing is just a small bookmark, maybe even a tiny footnote or a passing curiosity in one sense. I was even very fortunate to have had some much-appreciated family support to help out, and a huge thank you is merited. So that smoothed out many “sub-moments,” for sure. Having said all that, I also don’t mean to over-minimize this experience. The fact that we’re just a few tiny humans spinning on a small planet circling an average star in a lonely little part of one of billions of galaxies doesn’t diminish the personal value I can extract from this experience. The fact that I’m just writing this in between checking in on my little boy, who fortunately for both of us, just fell asleep, also doesn’t mean the very writing of it is meaningless. On the contrary…. oh, hold that thought…

Maybe my son’s fever will break soon. That will be good. I’ll go check on him again.

I’m back. See what I mean?

Now that I’ve got that cleared up, I return to the lesson of the week for myself.

Maybe what I needed to learn this cycle is that sometimes there is no further lesson that I need to learn. That I need to just get on with it. The profound thing for me to learn this time around is to see this just for what it is. This is just…

Normal life.

But man, how I wish it meant even “more” than that. So how about this? I’ll share a self-gratifying corollary for the hell of it, with the hope, for the sake of hoping, that it’s actually true:

It takes just as much or more to live a good, meaningful and loving life as it does to write truly great books or compose lasting, magnificent pieces of music.

There, I said it.

My heroic bit-wrangling and IT-shamanism for my wife’s computer is my sonnet this week.

My son’s cool Spinosaurus diorama is my sonata.

This week I am Husband. This week I am Dad.

Warm Regards to all who happen across this post,
James Durham

Now, before you do anything else, I dare you to say the title of this post five times fast … waiting … waiting … waiting … Okay, great! Now we’ve got some reader interaction, and this is already heating up! By way of introduction, I am a total Twitter neophyte and a complete social media newbie. However, with my keen powers of insight I have been able to pull five seemingly random tips about Twitter for new Twitterers out of my magical tip generator and now I will share them with you in all their glory!

Twitter Tip #1 – Make your own way, blaze your own path, be your own guru, and explore!

Every single week I see another brilliant new application of Twitter, another new development, approach, or clever idea! Twitter is still evolving at a break-neck pace and who the heck can possibly consider themselves a Twitter guru or expert at this point? I’ll concede that I’ve seen a few who do genuinely seem to know a lot, but I contend Twitter is so remarkably complex and far-reaching in its potential, that we all have a lot to learn… and a lot of room to experiment in.

What we’re witnessing with Twitter, I believe, is the beginning of a mighty change in the fabric of human relationships, where new social paradigms are evolving at an insane pace! We’re in the middle of a revolution! So that means, I believe you can make your own way, blaze your own path, and be your own guru! And by all means, explore! Learn Twitter, embrace Twitter, investigate the nooks and crannies while it is still a young and wild frontier! Have fun with it, enjoy it! I’ve been blown away by what I’ve found so far.

I believe that the social and anthropological ramifications of Twitter are deep enough for dozens of doctoral dissertations and “how-to” books! I know a great guy writing one right now, and I can’t wait to read it. And while you should obviously listen to the people you want to listen to, I humbly suggest that you reserve judgment for yourself and try your own ideas too! I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Twitter Tip #2 – Equip yourself with the best tools for taking advantage of Twitter!

One of the first things I noticed was how overwhelming it could be to have a stream of tweets slamming me in the neural cortex in 140 character bursts like a fire hydrant gone amuck. In no time at all, I wished for a superior Twitter interface and some tools to manage and explore the Twitter universe.

Well, apparently the Twitter developers thought the same thing and they made an extensive API (Application Programming Interface) available to third-party developers so that clever little programming elves could create new, amazing Twitter programs to help you enjoy Twitter even more.

I won’t bore you with my current list of cool Twitter apps that I use, since whatever I say will be out-dated soon anyway. Just know that there is a Twitter application for almost anything, and if it doesn’t exist right now, it probably will soon. In fact, maybe you should develop it!

There are multiple apps for your iPhones and BlackBerries (or is that BlackBerrys?), special websites with funky statistics and tools, and stand-alone Twitter apps that cut through tweets like butter. I will only mention TweetDeck for now, but the best thing to do is ask people in Twitter itself what the coolest and best tools are. This is a constantly evolving landscape, but you’ll soon get a handle on it, and your tweeting experience will vastly improve.

Twitter Tip #3 – Following is fun, and plus, it’s a great way to gain your own followers!

When I joined Twitter eons ago, yes, those many, many, many days ago, I didn’t initially get the whole “follow” thing. What the heck was that all about? See what a neophyte I am? I’m not ashamed of being a total newbie at this. It just makes me want to learn! And so I began to learn without any preconceptions by simply following interesting people. And I discovered that following is fun!

There are so many fascinating people out there! And as time progressed, I noted that some of them followed me back. I read what they wrote, and interacted with my new-found fellow Twitterers.

Now let me be clear here. I’m not suggesting you follow just to get followers. (Although, that appears to work to a degree for many people who are interested primarily in numbers.) I’m suggesting you follow people that interest you, for whatever reason, and then let human nature take its course. Interact, and you will be followed back by many.

So how do you find people that are interesting to you in the first place? Ahhhhhh… that’s why I have another tip for you!

Twitter Tip #4 – How to find great initial people to follow, then expand your network by following the people they follow and those that follow them!

Make sense? I thought so. So how do you find those initial interesting people? Well, three ways for starters:

First, start by clicking “Find People” at the top of the page. Pretty obvious. Look up favorite writers, artists, musicians, friends, celebrities, real-world experts, etc., who are already on Twitter, and follow them. Inside the Find People menu you’ll also see “Find on other networks,” “Invite by email,” and “Suggested users.” Use those tools!

Second, use the “search” box on the Twitter page… and search for anything that interests you. If you like zombies, search for zombies! And there you will find the pulse of Twitter as it pertains to zombies… and the people who are talking about zombies at that very minute. Check them out, and follow people who are interesting to you!

Third, pay attention to the other websites you normally visit out there on the Internet! Many people that you normally get content from are already on Twitter… but you may not easily find them via the two methods above… so as you visit their sites, check out if they have a Twitter account, and if not, encourage them to get one! I’ve already invited or found a quality group of friends, colleagues and businesses this way, and it’s great to connect with them on Twitter!

Then, once you start to find that initial core of people, tap into their networks! One of the beauties of Twitter is that you can see who anyone is following, and who follows them… once you find someone that interests you, look through the profiles of some of both their followees and followers, read what they have to say, and you may find yourself amazed at the cool and fantastic people out there in the Twitterverse. Click “follow” on anyone that interests you!

Twitter Tip #5 – Tweet unto others as you would have them tweet unto you!

Well, there’s always room for the Golden Rule. Basic kindergarten behavior that seems obvious, but apparently some Twitter users somehow forget this basic social concept. I’m all for inventing The Great New Way to Use Twitter, and would love to see where brilliant new Twitter minds take us, but for most people, basic common-sense respect and even a little kindness go a long way. Please remember the “social” in social media! Those are human beings on the other side of those 140 characters. (Well, most of the time. )

On top of that, I’d humbly suggest never taking anything personal in the Twitterverse… I’ve already seen numerous little bouts of misunderstandings break out and much-needed apologies issued over things that were never intended to hurt someone. Actually, they were kind of hilarious to watch unfold, but sometimes let’s face it, we take things personally that don’t need to be.

Well, that’s it for now! My humble “Top Five Twitter Tips for New Twitterers from a Top-flight Twitter Neophyte” is now coming to a close — I have more, but the title wouldn’t have been nearly as fun to say out loud, so I’ll save my other ideas for my next Twitter-related post. Above all, I hope you enjoy Twitter and I hope to tweet you around! Oh… almost forgot… if interested, you can follow my tweets at:  twitter.com/jamesdurham

In response to a post over at Suvudu about DRM (Digital Rights Management), I couldn’t help but post some of my thoughts about this controversial topic here on my own site. The initial thread that inspired this post is located here, although this has been an ongoing discussion in the music and publishing universe for a long time, and has been a subject of much consternation in my own creative work.

I’ve wrestled with the pros and cons of DRM for my own content and just a few years ago I will admit I was a strong proponent of DRM. But now, as I’ve begun to look at how the world is changing right under our literal and virtual noses, I have completely changed my point of view. This is what I will post on the Suvudu site as my contribution to this compelling topic:

As a musician, aspiring writer and technophile, I see little value in DRM. I believe society is in the midst of a huge paradigm shift, particularly for artists and how they relate to their audience, and DRM simply gets in the way. Is that what the artist really wants? Obstacles to his content?

For me, DRM is the annoying cockroach on the proverbial banquet of universal content and it does nothing but keep the lawyers — er, exterminators — primed to the brim with self-indulgent enthusiasm and lustful finger twitching.

DRM has its place, however… and that is to provide false comfort to those artists who wish to remain in their citadels of old-world thinking, when it comes to the brave new world of digital media.

Having said all that, I’m all for copyright control. It’s just that I believe DRM is approaching the issues from the wrong direction. If an artist wants to protect their work and get his due compensation, I take no issue with that, of course. But in the end, trying to put digital content in a vault is like trying to store precious wine in a sieve. It just ain’t gonna happen.

What I believe will matter the most for artists in the 21st century is the human relationship between the artist and the audience. That personal connection is what will propel their audience to purchase the novels, music, films and so forth. That relationship generates trust, loyalty and even pricks the conscience of those audience members who have partaken of pirated fruit.

And that relationship takes work… a kind of work on the part of the content creators (and their teams if they have the budget) that is sometimes more difficult than the creation of the art in the first place. And I think it also requires a higher standard of merit for the work itself, raising the bar to a new level for the highest level of success. That’s where I come to the opinion — yes, this is just opinion so please disregard all this if you disagree — that a paradigm shift is upon us.

This generation, frankly, looks at content differently than prior generations. Content is not an object to them. It is to be easily and freely passed between devices, and yes, even between friends. When content loses its physical properties, something has to take the place of that which is lost. And that is where the relationship comes in.

In this short space I can’t go into more of my theories on this topic, but suffice it to say that DRM simply prevents the natural movement of content to the audience for which it is intended. And the audience of the 21st century will almost certainly take the path of least resistance. If it takes more effort to access or use an artist’s content, many won’t bother with it at all.

For those that choose to stoically defend DRM, please, have at it. But please don’t wonder why the content you are trying to protect is distributed without your control anyway and all that effort (read: time and money) you put into vaulting it up and chasing after pirates could have been spent building good will, trust and loyalty with your audience, one paying customer at a time.