Well, P.G. Holyfield had his “Damn you, Holyfield!” and now I guess I have my “F**k you, Durham!” And yes, I take that as a compliment… twisted though it is… This is how it all happened. A FETIDUS listener by the name of Shane wrote me a decidedly terse note on the FETIDUS website, and I wrote him back. Here’s the exchange for your enjoyment. [ Language warning for my readers sensitive to the F word! ]

As posted by Shane:

“I love Fetidus. But you know what I am really fucking sick of.  You expect an invest from us. But you’re not invested in us. You take so god damned fucking long to release new episodes and we’re invested in the story.

So fuck you. I am cutting my feed from Itunes and will sign up again maybe in a year. When I am positive that all of the episodes have been released and I don’t have to wait so long.

This is really not fair to your fans.”

My response:

Hey Shane,

Wow, man, I almost don’t know what to say! First, I’ll take your post as a profoundly twisted compliment, so thank you, sir! I guess P.G. Holyfield had people tell him, “Damn you, Holyfield!” and now I guess my version of it is “Fuck you, Durham!” — although perhaps for different reasons. But I’ll take it as a good thing anyway. And I’ll just add this:

1) I deeply appreciate all my listeners. I try to say that as often as I can, and I hope that’s coming across. Getting to know some of them has been one of the highlights of producing FETIDUS. When someone transitions from being a listener to a full-fledged “fan,” I can’t say how awesome that is, and how much I appreciate it! It’s humbling and amazing. You guys completely blow me away!

2) You’re right, it does take a long time to release new episodes. As far as I know, I’m the only podcast novelist who is also writing all his own music for the episodes, and you know I have multiple voice actors as well, etc… this is basically a totally custom audio drama including all the music, and I don’t exactly have a staff, other than the split personalities in my poor, demented, contortionist mind. Plus I want to make sure each episode has a certain minimal level of quality. In fact, if I did it to the perfectionist level I wanted to, the episodes would take far longer to release!

So, yes, that all takes time, more time than I would like it to. But alas, this is how I’m doing it. Since FETIDUS is free, and I also have to make a living, have other creative projects going on, and more importantly I have a family I love spending time with… it’s the reality of the situation. As you know, I don’t charge for FETIDUS, don’t have any sponsors and thus far have refused any sponsors or ads, and I haven’t asked for donations (and I don’t plan to). So when you factor in the time it takes me to produce it, FETIDUS is costing me a huge amount of money. And I wish I could work on it full-time. I believe the way I’m doing it will eventually be worth it, and more importantly, I’m enjoying the hell out of it, and hope my listeners are too, even at the expense of torturing them with long waits in between episodes.

Now, in between episodes, it’s not that I forget about FETIDUS, or just ignore it or the listeners. I’m constantly trying to work on it, but I have other obligations in life, as I’m sure you do. For one, I have to make the money to make the time to work on it, so unless you want to write me a really big fat check to cover all my expenses, this is the only way I can do it.

Other podcasters struggle with the same issues, as I’m sure you know. They have different ways of dealing with it, all of which are completely understandable. For example, they may choose whether or not to include some of the production elements I’ve chosen to include. Some take sponsors. Some have a volunteer or a paid assistant helping them, or even a team or partners to work with. Some have real budgets. Some have big (or not-so-big) publishing deals and this is part of their critical marketing effort for their book launch (and I have supported more than one podcaster in that situation). Some are passionately trying to get that magical “big book deal.” Some are experimenting by charging for content. Some strip down the production to the bare minimum (quite effectively, I might add). Some secretly have a slave clone of themselves working night and day, etc., etc… In fact, I know of some podcasters who think I’m insane that I write my own music for FETIDUS and I’ll frankly, happily concur. But since I love doing it this way, I’ll continue investing the time.

3) Finally, how can I say this except, thank you for listening! I totally understand if you want to hold off until the whole project is done. I get where you’re coming from, and I’m honestly thrilled to hear you’re so pissed off at me that you’d let me know. I guess I must have done something right, otherwise it wouldn’t have been worth your time to contact me. And I sincerely wish you didn’t have to wait so long as well. In the end, I hope it will be worth the wait, and you come back to experience the full story. I just wish you didn’t cut the feed before episode 8, because things are about to get even more juicy.

Best Regards,
James Durham

P.S.: And by the way, cool artwork on your site! (I clicked there from the link you provided on your name.) Nice work, man!

> Click here to read the original exchange on FETIDUS.ORG

Damn you, Holyfield! Now you’ve done it! You’re on the verge of completing your podcast of Murder at Avedon Hill and I had to put a little something together for you in celebration! Consider it a thank you for not just your excellent podcast and novel, but also for being part of the group of cutting-edge podcast novelists that inspired me to launch my own podcast novel. You also took the time to share some of your wisdom with me many moons ago, and I appreciate it. Thank you, man! So, huge congrats for wrapping the podcast, and I join with many others who wish you the best success in the months ahead! And for those who don’t get the whole “Damn you, Holyfield” thing, well, then, I invite you to get to know P.G. Holyfield and listen to his podcast at www.pgholyfield.com. ‘Nuff said.

Click below to listen to “Damn You, Holyfield!”:

Download audio file: “Damn You, Holyfield!” (4.0 MB)